Should i commit myself to an institution?

Lets see, I'm tired of feeling guilty for not liking my life. Got a roof over my head, food in my belly, a working body and all that good crap. My parents didn't die of AIDS leaving me to dig through garbage to feed my siblings. My belly ain't swollen with flies around my head and my father didn't molest me. Terrible things have not happened to me. I'm just a loser. By definition. I'm turning 24 and I live with my mother, no job, no friends, no boyfriend, no car. Was homeschooled the last 2 years of high school and can't get over not going to prom and all that **** plus now i suck with people. Can't look them in the eye for long especially guys. I'm attractive but who gives a crap. My biggest problem is my addictive personality. I'm addicted to pot, booze and food. I mean addicted. Went down to 103 lbs a year ago. Was so disciplined back then and now i binge constantly and i literally wake up thinking about food. I think about food after i eat it before i eat it. While i'm eating it I think of what I'll eat later. I'm at a normal weight. In fact to look at me you'd never guess I had a binge eating problem or any problem with food at all i look so damn normal. Even toned. So i joined a gym. Big whoop. Still a binger. Wouldn't have to work out so hard if i weren't a binger. Then there's the booze. 4 to 5 beers 3 to four days a week whenever mommy's not home. Then it's almost like having my own place. Almost. I drink and watch movies that i wish I'd directed or movies I wish were my life. adventures. dangers. horrors. life's not like the movies. It's dull, auto pilot, same crap over and over. Honking cars and eyes toward clocks and fast food gigs. "May i take your order?" bullshit. Been unemployed for 7 months, don't have another job yet but i already hate the next one. WHat job can a girl with pot riddled piss really get anyway? I'm Edward Norton in Fight Club praying for a damn plane crash. Anything. I want nature and trees and hiking and rock climbing and excitement. I want to be damn near eaten by a shark when I'm surfing. I want to get lost in the grand canyon. I want to have hot dirty dominating sex with a different guy every week. I want food to be the last thing on my mind. I want sitting in front of the tube with my six pack to be the last thing i think about doing. But all I see is dead end jobs, fad diets, more binges and sugar addictions, never being satisfied with how I look, feeling guilty for not being satisfied with a body that's fully capable of many things that handicapped ppl only dream of doing. I cannot seem to be greatful for anything. I see my mother's face in a coffin. I see me in a world without my mother. I will have no one. My brother has already made his own family. My father will go soon as well because he's a bad diabetic and they're both overweight. But i bet she'll go first because I'm not close to my father. Ironic **** like that always happens.Whatever. Sometimes I stare at my sleeping pills and think about doing it. But i can't do that to my mother. I know life could be so good but only if i had money. Can't do **** without money not even camp. What's the point? I'll always be a binger, always hate my body, always too shy to be the flirt, never sale a screenplay or make a movie never finish a novel and self publish. I'll never do those things no matter how much i say i will i just won't. it won't happen. nothing will ever ******* happen. I wish i could kill myself. I can't make myself take the damn zoloft because it takes too long to work and alcohol reaches the brain in 1 minute. Pot relaxes me after a couple of hits. why is it that their precious "happy pills" take so damn long to work. Weeks? **** it I can be ****** up in half an hour. THen i binge and go to sleep. wake up with a stomache ache that lasts half the day until I'm ready to do it all over again. Insanity. I'm probably just going to die of cancer anyway because I'm terrified of it and i hate hospitals and all the years I've smoked pot and sometimes cigs and as sad as I am and sad ppl get cancer more i think. Whatever. I can't kill myself, I can't afford therapy, I'm tired of living. Should i just commit myself or what?